Tired

I'm sick and tired of being angry. I'm tired of constantly feeling some type of way. I'm tired of being unhappy. I'm tired of dealing shit I really don't deserve and constantly have to explain myself when I did nothing and just because you feel she type if way. I'm so damn tired of always being the bad guy or being the wrong one. All I fucking do is aim to please you and I'm always in the damn wrong like there's only so much I can do like I'm not a fucking idiot. Everything is different I really think the only reason you're still here is because you have to be in a sense like I feel you really don't wanna be here and if it isn't true I shouldn't fucking feel like this! The fact that I'm always scared to tell you when's something is wrong is a problem because when I do either I'm crazy, I'm looking too deep, or you just wanna leave. The that shit changed within a week still baffles me like you went from talking to me 24/7 telling me how much you care about me constantly to not at all is weird. Like you claimed you love me less then a month ago and now we don't even say it like I guess you don't mean it anymore but idk because you always keep me in the damn dark how the fuck am I suppose to where you stand if you don't talk to me! Went from you saying "who needs porn I got you" to watching it before you have sex with me. I ask and you fucking lied who knows if you would have told me that you were bored if I didn't say what I said. Like now your bored and talking about groupies and how you need side hoes but when I do nothing still think in doing something. The fact that you think I'm capable of some of the shit you come up in your head really hurts my feelings but I'm tired of crying over you this is a fucking waste of tears. How the fuck can the one person who makes me smile the most or makes me feel better in any situation be the main reason why I get angry, sad or start crying like I'm tired of this shit idk what to do anymore I give up I lose you win. I always have you an out but your ass stayed if you don't wanna be here I'm not forcing you to be here if you do then act like it I'm tired of you not being 100% with me I shouldn't have to constantly bring shit up for you to finally tell me something it isn't fair.